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10 Questions to ask your child about School

By Nur Choudhury

As a child grows older, parents face new challenges at each moment. But naturally as each challenge arises parents have to figure out the best course to navigate around the challenges and continue building on previous foundations laid. 

Islamic Parenting increases in importance when children enter their teenage years, parent’s starts to see the previous relationships built come in to effect. If positive family habits have been engrained from younger years these should help to act as calm waters during turbulent times.

As parents, we want nothing more than to get our children to talk to us and confide in us. Sometimes, this is easy with toddlers and young children who chatter nonstop. However, as children grow older one of the most troublesome issues that the majority of parents face is getting their children to open up and talk. You may ask them about school and the typically response tends to be “fine”, “good” or “ok”. But that doesn’t relay much to you and leaves you wondering what actually happened during the day. Most parents would like to know everything in our child’s mind, so how do you get your child to open up more?

There is a lot of advice and writing out there around the art of conversation and how if you want to keep anyone talking, you don’t ask closed-ended questions where the answer can be given as a one word answer. Rather you should ask open-ended questions where the person has to give a full and meaningful answer using their knowledge or feelings. There are, however, some ways of facilitating conversation between you and your children. As these strategies become normal, your children will take opportunities to talk to you. Below are 10 questions you can implement to help this along and get your children talking and expressing their feelings and thought. In the long run if you listen and are there for them then this only builds your children’s trust and confidence.

Each parent will come to their own set questions, and necessary do not need to go through each question each day. You need to come to something that works for you as a family and is natural, until it become a habit and routine for you and your children, this is when the fruits can be seen of this strategy.  

But you should bear in mind that the purpose of asking is so you can listen and understand your children better. Try to refrain for giving your opinions and suggestions, but listen and understand your child’s feelings, emotions, thoughts, problems, concerns, excitement, successes and adventure. In our course the topic of how to listen is covered in more detail, about how you can listen to your children and understand their needs, at the same time empowering them to make decisions and find resolutions to their problems.

When “Fine”… “OK”… “Good”… doesn’t cut it